


oh, i'm jealous of the way.

by commonemergency



Series: ficmas 2017. [7]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2009 dan and phil, Established Relationship, Fluff, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-08
Updated: 2017-12-08
Packaged: 2019-02-12 01:05:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12947982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/commonemergency/pseuds/commonemergency
Summary: It’s not just that they get Phil’s time, but they also get Phil’s friendship.prompt: Dan and Phil long distance 2009 fluff





	oh, i'm jealous of the way.

Dan wants to tell Phil he loves him all the time, because it’s fun to say, because they’re at that point in their relationship where he can, because the distance sucks. A lot of the time they’re on Skype doing their own thing, talking to each other for hours about nothing and everything and he wants to tell him he loves him and that he misses him. He knows that Phil won’t judge him for it, and that 100% of the time he’ll say it back, but Dan doesn’t say anything. Instead, he feels a weird sort of weight on his chest, watching Phil’s eyes go back and forth, assuming he’s surfing the web and tweet something, and then he’ll bring up a video that he wants to do and the words just don’t come out. 

Then Dan has to eat dinner, but Phil stays on the line and he doesn’t say it then. Sometimes dinner lasts an hour long, sometimes it’s only ten, fifteen minutes of silences and Dan washes his plate and hurries back upstairs to hear the sound of Phil playing his music or his gameboy. Dan so desperately wants to curl up against Phil and have him play with his hair and massage his back and fall asleep on Dan because he’s warm and he’s comfortable and he feels like home. 

Long distance is hard because it feels like a part of you is never really there but somewhere else and the time spent together is never enough. Dan knows that these kind of thoughts just make him sad. He’s doing the things that he needs to do for university next year but sometimes it feels like a lot, and it’s piling up on him, and he knows that he just needs to stop procrastinating some things and just do it. 

He finds himself curling up into a ball, moving the laptop into a more comfortable position while he stares at Phil who still hasn’t paid attention to him but not because he doesn’t care, but they’re pretending that they’re there next to each other, and this is what they’d do if the other were there anyway.

“How was dinner?” Phil asks, looking up now and seeing Dan with his eyes closed, feeling sad about a thing that he can’t really change. 

“It was fine, I guess. Mum made pasta.” He yawns, smiling at Phil, and then reaching behind him to grab his bear. 

“My mum said it’s ‘fend for yourself night so I’ll eat soon, probably.” 

“Yeah? What are you going to make? Toast?” Dan jokes, and if Phil were here he’d probably slug his shoulder playfully.

“I do know how to make other things, Dan.” Phil rolls his eyes, and Dan can just imagine him poking his cheek. 

“Yeah….” Dan says, his voice gets a little lower. “What are your plans for tomorrow?” 

Phil thinks for a second and then remembers, “I’m meeting up with a couple of friends from uni. I think I told you that a couple days ago, but I forgot until just now, so thank you for reminding me.” He laughs and then grabs his phone, “Yeah, I’m meeting them at Starbucks first and then probably somewhere to eat after.” 

Dan tries not to get too jealous, and it’s not because he’s insecure in the way where Dan thinks he’s boring and his friends are better, it’s more they get to spend all this precious time with Phil. Do they know his drink order at Starbucks? Do they know that he’s not really a pub kind of guy? Or that he hates having to take the bus to Manchester unless he has to? 

“Are you okay?” 

Dan smiles. It’s not just that they get Phil’s time, but they also get Phil’s friendship. It’s hard for Dan because he doesn’t have friends that he can hang out with every day, and he wishes that he did. He knows that if he absolutely wanted he could _maybe_ make plans with people but they wouldn’t know what to talk about -- and they have their own things in their life, and probably preferred other people’s company over his, and it was just a lot of things that were really getting to Dan and when he was with Phil he didn’t have to think about all these sad thoughts because they didn’t even cross his mind. _It had just been a long day._

“Yeah. I’m fine.” he squeezes the bear a little more, sinks into his sheets as if it’ll protect him from his emotions and what he was feeling. “Distance sucks.” He whispers loud enough for Phil to hear. 

Phil smiles the kind of sad smile that’s one out of understanding. 

“I know. Me too.” Phil places his hand on his screen and Dan does the same. It’s all that they can do. 

“One day, it won’t be so hard.” Phil promises, and Dan thought of all those late night discussions when they were just getting to know each other; if they could live anywhere together they’d say London. And if they could vacation anywhere together they’d want to go to Japan. 

“I want to hug you.” Dan says, frowning a bit. 

“Okay, here it comes.” Phil leans closer, and all Dan can see is black, but that’s because Phil had wrapped himself around his computer and it’s enough to make Dan laugh. “Did you feel it?” 

Dan smiles, feeling a little bit better, because he knows that he’s seeing him soon, and he knows that one day there won’t be such a great distance between the two, it’s just not the time yet. 

“I felt it.” 

Phil smiles and gets up from his bed and grabs something, from what it looks like it’s a sheet of paper and he has a sharpie, he writes something down and then lifts it up so Dan can read. _I love you_ with a heart drawn next to it.

Dan blushes, feeling really flustered but full of love that out of all the humans in the world this one was his. 

“I love you too, Phil.” 

_And he’d see him soon._

**Author's Note:**

> comments/kudos appreciated! 
> 
> talk to me on tumblr/twitter: **@nihilismdan**
> 
> [request](http://nihilismdan.tumblr.com/post/168052851358/i-really-would-love-to-do-ficmas-in-someway-but-i) a prompt if you want.


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